haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize