I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Michael Bay diarrhea
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
