I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
