and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
