Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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