Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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