it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
