guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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