I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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