he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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