my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize