But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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