Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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