You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
