So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You smell like stripper and shame
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
