Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
