It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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