Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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