Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
