I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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