we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
