i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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