you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
