I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He shit in the fireplace
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
