it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
we're so committed to being not committed
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
