are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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