Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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