are you so shy because you have an std?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Damn victory sex feels great
My feet surprised me
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
