how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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