I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
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so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
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He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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