I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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