We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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