i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
