yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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