I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
