just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
whose parrot is this?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
