I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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