Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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