I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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