For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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