just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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