: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
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he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Did you pee in the oven last night??
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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