if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Also, beer. Big fan.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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