the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
