i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
