Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
