There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
