it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
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On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
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That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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