Small penises have feelings too.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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