so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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