i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
