i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
