u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
two words...techno handjob
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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