If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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