You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
