You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
