I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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