...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize