I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
In America we eat man semen.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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