I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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