I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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