Acid is not a monday night drug
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize