How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
