I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
