scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Mom said you looked used
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
