already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm like, not good at living.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
