Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
